"If you didn't -- I don't know what would have happened." He probably wouldn't have ended it, wouldn't have slept with Ivy (and god, there's a consequence of Jason's whole spiral that he still hasn't had the energy to think about). But Jason's best-case-scenario version of the future has always been one where maybe they manage to have a good time in college before one of them gives in to the inevitable, and then Peter's willing to stay in touch after it had to end. He's not sure it would have gone much better if that had all come to a head after they left. "And I could've given you more. Could've been willing to talk about it, at least."

He pulls back enough that he can reach out and touch Peter's cheek, urging him to look up with a touch so Jason can see his face. "It's -- you know it's always been real, right? I think you're one of the only things in my life that ever has felt real."